The newborn stage of parenting can really test your gangster. No matter if you are a first-time parent or a vet parent. Despite being completely new at this whole parenting thing. We were completely turned off by many of the generalized cookie-cutter rules. Then, I came across info on the 4th trimester.
So What is the 4th Trimester?
The 4th trimester is the time period after you give birth until your baby is about 3 months old. The fresh and new postpartum stage. Basic information on this stage is simple. It’s what I like to call, the “rebirth and getting to know your baby” time period. This is actually for the entire family. Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, everyone. Because as a whole, it helps the dynamic of the new addition.
I remember first reading about the 4th and having little hi-five moments in my head like “Oooooo! Yes” or “no I never thought of it like that.” It’s like all of the info was written for me. Myths were shut down and the stress, we were anticipating began to level off.
When we came home from the hospital we had a chart. We’d check off each time he ate. Every 3 hours, I would tell myself, but then times started blending together or he would still be sleeping on what “should have been” his feeding time. I quickly remembered the 4th-trimester mindset. He eats when he eats. It was too much to try to keep up with. The generic rules for the millions of babies that come into the world just didn’t seem fitting to us.
We incorporated this frame of mind in other aspects too, like sleeping. Trust me, a baby will let you know when they are tired. Same as if they are hungry. You will learn his/her cues. A baby’s first language is touch.
Notes for the 4th Trimester
- It’s a big world. All they know is you. Be proud of this.
- Your baby will sleep when they are sleepy. Sounds redundant right? We learned and are still learning to be patient in fussy moments. It happens and it’s how they communicate. This doesn’t mean, I don’t ever look at the clock, but it does mean I am not locked into any rules that will cause stress for my customized life.
- Your baby will let you know when they are hungry as well. The feeding schedule was nice for reference, but we were not married to it. Sometimes he wanted a snack an hour after feeding or may take a long nap that might run into “feeding time.” Be open to this notion.
- We hold our babies A LOT, that “you will spoil him/her” crap was thrown in the trash quickly. Children are meant to be loved. They need it and look for it in many different ways. Directly and indirectly. We all want happy loved filled babies right?
- Besides tending your newborn don’t forget about yourself. This is one of the highlights of the 4th. Now, this isn’t the part when I talk about “self-care” in a general sense. This is actually the part when I simply tell you to be kind to yourself. My frame of mine has completely changed since having children. I laugh at the previous expectations and goals I had given myself. It involved everything from working out sooner than I needed to, to sticking to a daily routine with no room for offset. Who in the heck did I think I was?
Body Changes
I’m in awe of my body’s ability to create my sons. It’s simply breathtaking. Are there things I don’t like about my body? Yup! If you have been following me for a bit you are aware of my diastasis recti healing journey. This belly pouch is not cute, but it’s mine. My body held two little human beings. Same for you.
So give yourself some credit for creating a life. It took 9 months for your body to transform. It will take time for your body to get adjusted to life without a baby in the womb. We all hear about the “snapback.” Quite frankly, there is nothing to get back to. Move forward with the journey of motherhood. Embrace the new you that is blossoming.
Learning Baby
This takes time and quite frankly it’s forever it’s changing. Regardless if you are a first-time mom or seasoned mama. Children take you are so many stages. My children are very young and I have been amazed at how often they change and teach me. This will indeed continue. I am working on being introduced to change without stressing myself out about it. Whether it’s directly or indirectly.
Taking Advice
My patience is always tried in this area and it will never end lol
I’ve learned to separate the genuine advice from those that don’t seem as genuine. Just use your instincts on this. This goes back to the basics of the 4th trimester. Do what works for you.
Routine Changes
This is going to happen and keeping this in the back of your mind will help lots with that overwhelming feeling. I’m still learning to leave those dirty dishes in the sink and let the laundry wait. This will truly never end honestly.
Well, I hope this post has helped ease your mind a bit. Understand that the 4th trimester goes by so fast. Juggling tons of rules can take away the beauty in this time you can’t get back.
Got questions or interested in a collab? I am always down to work with other creatives on cool stuff š
Please Note: Everything listed here is from my personal thoughts and experiences.