Then I came across info on “The 4th Trimester.”
The name alone drew me in, because it didn’t make sense initially.
The 4th trimester is the time period after you give birth. Roughly 3-4 months after. The postpartum stage.
Info on the 4th is simple. It’s taking care of yourself (mama) and baby. Slowing things down and learning each other. I also add the father in the stage as well. Because as a whole it helps the dynamic of the new addition.
I remember first reading about the 4th and having little hi-five moments in my head like “Ooooo! Yes I agree” or “I never thought of it like that.” It’s like all of the info was written for me. It shutdown any myth or stress we were anticipating with having a newborn. Total refreshing moment.
When we came home from the hospital we had a chart. We’d check off each time he ate. Every 3 hours, I would tell myself, but then times started blending together or he would still be sleeping on what “should have been” his feeding time. I quickly remembered the 4th trimester mindset.
He eats when he eats. It was too much to try to keep up with. The generic rules for the millions of babies that come into the world just didn’t seem fitting to us.
We incorporated this frame of mind in other aspects too like sleeping. Trust me, a baby will let you know when they are tired. Same as if they are hungry. You will learn his/her cues.
There were a few other things we did as well. Things like letting him sleep on our chests or holding him Why not? He’s a baby. It’s ok for him to not want to sleep alone in a crib. Many new parents get frustrated with this. Let me say this. A baby’s first language is touch, so allowing our son the comforts of knowing we were there was and still is special to us.
Here are some key thing we kept in mind for the 4th:
Baby
1. Your child is getting use to being in this big world. All they know is you. Be proud of this and let them know you’re there.
2. Allow your baby to be comfortable. There is nothing wrong with pajamas and onesies. Putting huge and heavy outfits on them aren’t comforting. I know sometimes you can’t resist with so many cute baby clothes.
3. Your baby will sleep when they are sleepy. Sounds redundant right? We learned and are still learning to be patient in fussy moments. It happens. It’s how babies communicate. He has forced me to sit down and rock him to sleep at times.
4. Your baby will let you know when they are hungry as well. The feeding schedule is nice for reference but please do not be married to it. Sometimes your baby may want a snack an hour after feeding or may take a Long nap that might run into “feeding time”
Be open to this notion.
5. Hold your baby ALOT. Discard that “you will spoil him/her” crap. Children are meant to be loved. They need it and look for it in may different ways. Directly and indirectly sometimes. As mentioned earlier, a baby’s first language is touch so to know mommy and daddy are there for them keeps them happy.
We all want happy babies right?
Self Care. Mama Care.
Besides tending to your newborn don’t forget about yourself. This is one of the highlights of the 4th.
My frame of mine before, during and after have evolved greatly. Understandably So, because your journey changes right?
Before being pregnant, I had a high expectation for what I was going to do “when I had children.” I laugh at myself now for my ignorance. When I was pregnant, I would sometimes daydream about my plans after (i.e. Working out, daily routine) and now in the postpartum phase of motherhood I have learned a new lesson of not putting the pressure on.
Its important to get back to the basics for self care. Things I’ve kept in perspective are:
1.Body Changes-I’m in awe of my body’s ability to create my son. It’s simply breathtaking. Are there things I don’t like about my body? Yes, but the sense of pride I have outweighs my flaws. So give yourself some credit for creating another human being. It took 9 months for your body to transform so it will take time for your body to get adjusted to life without baby in the womb. I refuse to use the “b” word aka get “back” to how you were. Quite frankly there is nothing to get back to. Move forward with the journey of motherhood.
2. Learning Baby-This takes time and quite frankly it’s a constant journey. If you are a first time mom like myself you have never gone through the many stages children go through. We are constantly learning each other. The likes and dislikes. Treat this as a welcome introduction.
3. Separation-I’m flashing back to the first time we took our son to a sitter. I nearly cried my eyes out and the anxiety I felt was unreal. I was still full of hormones and every little thing upset me. It really takes a village to raise a child. I am still learning that I can’t be with him all the time. Take baby steps with this (point intended š
If you will be preparing to go back to work. Start plans now for a 1-2 hour discovery day with who you will designate for care. This helped me a lot and I am truly thankful for all our villagers. There is nothing like those who treat your child like their own.
4. Taking advice-My patience is always tried in this area and it will never end lol I’ve learned to separate the genuine advice from those that don’t seem as genuine. Just use your instincts on this. This goes back to the basics of the 4th trimester. Do what bat for you.
5. Routine Changes-This is going to happen and you should be open to changes. I have learned to leave those dirty dishes in the sink and let the laundry wait. I admit it is a little hard at times because I am a bit of a cleaning nerd but it can wait.
Well, I hope my ideologies have lessen the stress for you mamas to be or even seasoned parents that may feel you didn’t do what you were “suppose to do.” It’s ok to customize your life. It is honestly the only way to truly live.
Got questions? Please feel free to email me at info (at) thenaturalhighblog (dot) com.
Please Note: Everything listed here is from my personal thoughts and experience.